My brain is in a complete muddle. It's like part of it is still with me for the day to day, remembering to remind the kids to take their lunch bag or tennis racket or what have you, and the other part is waaay too busy with other things to be present at all. It's a little bit like slogging through mud in my brain. I was told it could be because while I'm still working, part of me has already moved on and is thinking about/planning what comes next. And for the past three weeks or so I've been halfway between desperate to be finished and freaking out because I'm running out of time. A totally random state of mind that isn't particularly comfortable. Missing things from home with impatience mixed in one moment, worrying about not having access to certain things in Holland the next.
The other thing that's thrown me for a bit of a loop is I've only got one week of work left when up until Tuesday I thought I had four. My host family's plans changed and now I'm done on the first of next month. It was very odd, 'cause I thought I'd be happy or sad but I was... Kind of ambivalent. It's because life chucked a curve ball at my host family, so not the nicest of reasons anyway and I'm sad about that so that's probably part of it. The other part is probably because I had a count down in my head to keep me slightly saner and to plan outings around and it's just gone poof!!! Which, again, under normal circumstances isn't a bad thing but it got me completely muddled for a couple of days. Strange business, brains.
So yeah, where I'm at now is 1: Desperate for some geeking out, 2: in need of some serious hugs, and 3: in a state of mild confusion. And I'm still trying to figure that last part out.
Shade and Sweet Water y'all
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