Warning: Some of these may ramble and take detours in the middle of my making a point. I apologise in advance.
Top of the list today is; The dog. I like dogs. I was very glad there was a dog to look after, because that was something I was used to and pets are usually nice to have around. However, he and I have something of a love/hate relationship. He can be very sweet, coming to say hi when you arrive in the morning. But then you take him for a walk. {An aside. I should perhaps mention that he is an un-neutered male. And as far as I've been able to tell this is not hugely unusual here, as I see several intact males regularly when I'm walking the dog and I'm fairly sure there's at least one un-spayed female in the neighbourhood too. This is very, very odd for me as the general thought in Vancouver (as I've experienced it) is that if your pet is not fixed and you aren't planning on breeding them you are in some way "not quite up to snuff" as an owner. I never, ever, want to own an un-neutered male dog.} When we go to the off leash area, he can run about and play while I amble around which under most circumstances would be awesome. But I have to keep a beady eye trained on him at all times because he frequently gets obsessed with trying to prove he's dominant and most other dog owners don't appreciate that. Or he'll run into another intact male, at which point we have a staring/growling contest and they both proceed to try to dominate all the other dogs in the vicinity. (I actually got a lecture about the fact he wasn't neutered from someone who owned one of the other un-neutered dogs he was arguing with) Joy. And after the second time I had to spend a half hour trying to find him, I've decided off leash outside of the dog park is not going to happen anymore. It's more stress an time wasted then I need to put with or have time to deal with. I think we'll be able to work out a reasonable compromise though. Only time will tell.
Bikes: Oh. My. God. The bloody bikes. I've realised that a good indication that I'm getting more comfortable here is the fact that I'm more willing to entertain the notion of hopping on my bike to go somewhere. However, it may take longer then it would have if people hadn't kept pushing it when I first arrived. The day after I got here my hostmum was pushing me to get used to the bike, and as I was in full on overload, I latched on to biking as the easiest thing to be grumpy and stubborn about. so I biked when I had to, but not much outside of that. I also really like walking. It grounds me, and is a little bit like meditating at times, so odds are I won't end up biking in the immediate area much anyway I'll just be more willing to bike further afield. Funny thing though. I've been biking the youngest to and from his hockey practice for about a month and a half, and I've recently started taking him to and from his tennis class as well. A couple of nights ago, his mum asked how my biking was and he looked up from the other end of the table and said "It's good! Much better than before! You couldn't bike at all before!" To which I responded "Not to you're standards I'm sure." But yay! He approves! But anyway, other people on bikes. In Vancouver, I've sometimes said that as a pedestrian you have to watch out for cyclists more than cars. The same is true here, only the drivers are crazier as well. I've seen other people walking, but if someone is on a wheeled mode of transportation, it's like they're not sure what to do with people on foot. I've also had instances where someone has said "You walk to the grocery store?!" "Yes." "Doesn't that take a while?" And I'm thinking, it's a five minute walk, tops. Probably less. It's not that far..... It's a bit like walking is a foreign concept, which can be a bit frustrating for me because, as I mentioned above, it's a rather useful means of centering and learning an area for me. So, yeah. I'm getting used to, but not entirely happy with, the bikes.
And me.
I came to an interesting realisation the other day. I was walking the dog, thinking, being introspective and all that. I'd been grumpy and rather dissatisfied all day, but I didn't know what I was unhappy with. Then I realised that I was getting used to/more comfortable with most of my routine. And that triggered some of the uncomfortable feelings. And then it dawned on me that I was scared. Scared that I was getting used to here and what that might mean. Scared of getting comfortable in a different country. Scared of I don't know what else, but scared. That realisation probably helped a bit, but as far as I know I may still be scared. This will take some thought.
Also, I started typing this all on Wednesday, and I'm just getting to posting now, on Saturday. So it seems that even if I try to get a post done for the middle of the week I'm not gonna finish it 'til the week end. You guys may be stuck with one a week for a while longer.
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